11/04/2017

Tobias

Seven years ago, this handsome dog decided he was a part of our family. He joined in our walks at first, then,  he stood by our house day and night and took it on himself to be a keeper of our home and of our family, including our cats, standing firm until we realised that he was already ours, that he was meant to be ours, even though we were not looking for another dog.
And for the past seven years, he has earned his cognomen "the kind giant" every day without exception.
So today, as his big heart stopped,  mine shrunk considerably.

03/04/2017

Wholeness

It's said that one of the problems of being negative, is falling into a destructive pattern where you start, unconsciously, looking for confirmation of your theories, which inevitability you'll be able to find, therefore reinforcing negativity itself. It may seem obvious but it is not that easy.

I do believe the universe will give me the answers I need when I need them, provided that I work for it. Wich is not to say that I don´t have fall downs, of course, but that in spite of them, I have to believe.

How can I not, if my life is filled with those moments?

Just today as I circle around looking for a park in the city. I'm tired, I'm thinking, almost concluding, the search is innocuous, there are no places available. I even say to myself (because nobody is listening!): obviously, how could you think there would be parking here, at this hour? when will you stop being so naive? - extrapolating the whole situation.  But then, there is one, after all, I park, look over the window and there it is:




Be whole in everything. 
Put all you are into the smallest thing you do.


I know this words too well. They're from a poem (Fernando Pessoa). I haven't thought of them for a while, but I know them. The poem goes through my head.  And just like that, the universe keeps me going, my life is refilled.

Ironic, no?

01/04/2017

All |March|



All the weather, all the light, all the openness, all the inclosure, all the doubts, all the certainties, all the loneliness and all the love in one month. Full March.

07/03/2017

|February| Childhood friends

I took a day away from family to spend with old friends volunteering at Serra do Alvão. The weather was non-cooperative so the work was pushed behind the genuine camaraderie, wich was also fulfilling and nice.
Childhood friendship beholds a kind of unconditional love and appreciation regardless the different life's paths each has taken. I feel at home with those people and I can only hope that my son will develop such deep friendships, for he will never be alone.

Do you still connect with childhood friends?




01/03/2017

Play |A word for 2017|

I'm at a messy place right now - intentionally. Somehow, there's an unusual urge of "rebellion" - questioning everything - even the things I Know to be true. My excuse? Quite a neglectful one: my word for the year.



A memory kept coming to my mind for the past months, bugging me more than it ever did. It was the memory of a job interview with a bon-vivant Italian hotel director. Life for him was exploring the senses as much as he could - good food, good wine, parties, passion -  (not love but passion, he insisted). We talked a lot - he had a lot to say and he was, I believe, a bit intrigued by me.

At the end of the interview, he told me I was too young to be so serious, I should relax and play more. It was a personal advice, not a professional one, and he meant it both as an insult as perplexion, implying I was missing out on life.

I remember it felt weird to hear but I was so damn secure about who I was  ( as self-thought into life young women can be) that I didn't think much about it then, nor I remembered it for the years to come.

Until recently.  And then it wouldn't get out of my mind.

If I reason with this, though, I know I've made the right choices in my life. So what I am I doing? I don´t know. I guess I'm just playing with different approaches, as much as I can. Maybe there is something noteworthy that I've missed?  I'm filling my schedule and my life of different things. Things I usually don't do.  It is messy - it feels messy, there's a voice in the back of my mind saying, you know better, this isn't the way, and then there's the same inner voice that says - you'll be fine, you know where to come back to if you need.

Confused? Yes, so I am. Things might get weird over here, too. (Hope you'll endure some strangeness with me).